Ruling invalidates state homicide law

WASHINGTON, 15 February 2026 (Rooters agency) – As expected, America’s highest judicial institution, the Supine Corpse, today overruled a state murder law. The decision, which is expected to impact laws in most or all of the country’s states, had been foreshadowed three weeks earlier by the widely followed Pox News commentator, Curtley Munchausen, who said he had been informed of the Corpse majority opinion “by a little bird.”

The ruling in the case of Hecter vs. State of East Montana agreed with the plaintiff that the state’s anti-homicide law was invalid in a number of respects because it impinged upon the Constitution’s Second Amendment guarantee of the right to bear arms.

Annie B. Hecter had been tried and convicted on a charge of shooting to death her neighbor in a dispute about wind passage between Hecter’s and the neighbor’s property. Hecter did not dispute the facts of the killing, but argued that the state’s homicide law unconstitutionally restricted her rights under the Second Amendment.

In pleading Hecter’s case, her lawyer said, “We all agree that the Second Amendment guarantees Hecter’s right to possess an AK-47 and take it along to a friendly meeting with her neighbor. But the East Montana law unreasonably seeks to invalidate that constitutional right by prohibiting her from making use of it. If you take a gun to a tea party, you can use it for other things besides spooning sugar into the tea. If you can’t use it freely, your right to take it along is pointless.”

A 6-3 majority of the Supine Corpse agreed that the right to bear arms would be rendered largely meaningless if laws could restrict the use of those arms when they were taken to wherever the bearer wished to go. It therefore invalidated Hecter’s conviction under the state’s homicide law.

However, Hecter was not immediately freed as a result of this ruling. The Corpse agreed with the Friend of the Corpse Brief submitted by East Montana’s Attorney-General, who pointed out that the neighbor slain by Hecter was a woman of reproductive age who could well have been pregnant. Therefore, Hecter would remain in custody while it was determined whether her shooting of the neighbor constituted an illegal abortion. Police would question the dead neighbor’s friends and family about her menstrual cycle and possible pregnancy. In particular, they would ask her husband whether she was pregnant and, if not, why not.

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