US Army hails success of Afghan training

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – The Pentagon has hailed recent developments in Afghanistan as proof of the success of the military training provided by the US recently and throughout the period since the US invasion in 1882 or whenever it was.

A day after rockets fired by the Afghanistan Army hit a wedding party, Pentagon spokesperson Colonel Smedley Smuggins said the US was encouraged by evidence that US training was having an impact.

Colonel Smuggins emphasizes that he is able to speak from personal experience: “I’ve had combat experience in Afghanistan; I spent several months controlling drones dropping bombs there, and the timing really upset my social life in Arizona.”

We’ve had a lot of media questions – two or three – about the Afghan Army allegedly killing or wounding a few dozen terrorists and their children at a wedding party in Helmand,” Smuggins said.

Well, let me tell you, it’s not just a question of terrorists trying to make our allies look bad by taking their children to weddings, devious as that practice is. There are more important questions here than a few splattered kids, who had no real life ahead of them anyway.”

What really matters, according to Colonel Smuggins, is the professional military training provided to the Afghans.

When United States forces first arrived in Afghanistan, most of their Army wouldn’t have known what to do with a rocket, even if they had happened to get one from somewhere,” Smuggins points out. “They couldn’t have hit Helmand province one time out of six, let alone anything more specific. But our forces taught them, by the book and by example.

Now that same army can rocket a wedding in a village they’ve never been in before – just using the map coordinates. They’ve become real professionals, and I think, without boasting, that we can claim much of the credit for that.”

However, Colonel Smuggins acknowledges that the Afghan Army still requires further training, “especially in technical things like advanced interrogation techniques.”

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