Candidate calls for trimming voter rolls

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – Know Nothing Party presidential candidate Ronald Dump has announced a broad challenge that, if successful, could sweep him into the White House in the November election.

Dump began by declaring that a judge of Mexican ancestry should be disqualified from hearing a case involving Dump “because he’s probably figured out that I really don’t like tacos.” He then added that Muslims should be barred from being judges “unless they can prove they’re good Christians.”

In a subsequent speech, Dump added that African-Americans should not be judges because “their ancestors’ experience of being property could make them disrespect laws on private property.”

Yesterday, Dump broadened his “campaign to make America a Dump”, telling a campaign rally: “If they aren’t reliable enough to be judges, we can stop that. But voters are who really matters. And those types are prejudiced against me. It’s not fair. So we shouldn’t let them vote either.”

The Dump campaign then announced it was launching a 50-state campaign to “clean up the electoral rolls” before November by removing Hispanics, Muslims, and African-Americans.

Today, Dump provisionally added women to the list. “If the other party plays the woman card and runs a woman candidate, then women will be prejudiced to vote for her. It’s not fair to me.”

And students. “And I don’t just mean students from Dump University, that ungrateful bunch of losers. Students are mostly young, and the young mostly support that communist in the other party,” Dump said. “Do we want possible communists voting about how we should fight Muslims?”

“Not to mention war veterans,” Dump added. “Especially war veterans who were captured. I was never captured, so they might resent me being smarter than them. It’s not fair.”

The Know Nothing Party National Committee has released a statement endorsing Dump’s proposals and pointing out that for some years already, it has been working on improving the voter rolls through various state legislatures where the KNP has a majority.

Most legal experts doubt that the courts would uphold the action if state electoral commissions culled the electoral rolls in the way Dump demands. However, his campaign says it is not worried by possible judicial obstacles. It quotes Barry Bogus III, president of the National Weapons Association: “We stand with President Andrew Jackson. If the courts won’t rule for justice, let them try to enforce their wrong decisions. They don’t have nearly as many guns as we do.”

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