President defends intervention in British PM race

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – US President Ronald Dump today declared that there was “no confusion” if he endorsed one – or more – of the candidates for Prime Minister of the Barely United Kingdom.

Some commentators had suggested that it was a bit unusual for the President to use his visit to Japan as a platform to endorse Bro Jejeune and Nutty Fallow, leading candidates to become BUK Prime Minister, now or sometime soon. Wasn’t the selection of their PM best left up to the people – or at least the Parliament – of the country that would have to endure him/her?

President Dump denounced such views as “Democrat fake analysis.” The United States had always interfered as much as possible in other countries’ selection of their governments, he tweeted, “and I’m not going to stop that Wonderful Tradition that President Abraham Lincoln estalbished in the Marilyn Monroe Doctorine in 1776.”

On the President’s instruction, Attorney General Woolly Barf has declassified 4,238 pounds of documents detailing US interventions, ranging from candidate funding to outright invasion, in nearly every country in the world. “If there are some countries missing from the list,” Mr. Barf said, “that means we’ve been exonerated.”