Members of Congress indignant over ‛foreign meddling’

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – “Outrageous!” “Unheard of!” “Recolonization!” “Who does he think he is?” These were only some of the more printable comments of angry Republican Congressthings and Senators after a visiting member of the British royal family gave a speech in Louisville, Kentucky, which critics called “unjustified meddling.”

We don’t need foreigners coming here to spread their ignorance,” said Joseph “Punchy” Palooka, the Congressman from Pigswill, North Dakota. “Our own real American ignorance is good enough for me.”

Much of the indignation focused on the Prince’s comments on climate change. “Maybe they’ve ruined the climate in England,” said Senator “Blue” Jay Huffinpuffin. “Probably too much hot air from people like him. But there’s nothing overheated about our climate. In fact, we had snow this winter in many parts of the US. When has that ever happened before?”

Huffinpuffin’s remarks were endorsed by Florida Congressman Sunny Polyester. “Florida is warm, and it will still be warm even if that climate change stuff turns out to be true. What is there to worry about?”

Polyester called on people to show their annoyance with the Prince’s “pollution hysteria” by dumping as much plastic as possible into the ocean. “Florida’s beaches won’t even notice,” he declared. “The oceans are very big. Very big. For example, they surround Florida. Dump anything. No worries.”

The other part of the Prince’s speech that aroused particular outrage was his view that the current economic system has “shortcomings.”

Did we or did we not win the Cold War?” asked Pennsylvania Congressman Horace Barkfaster. “We did, and to me, that means our system is perfect. I mean, if it isn’t perfect, how did I get here?”

Senator Florence Folderol said that the public appearance of a future head of state of a past and possibly future hostile country indicated that the current administration had not supplied the Department of Homeland Security with as many billions of dollars as it might need. Who let him in to spread this royalist communist malarkey? Clearly, we need to improve standards in border control. If that requires more money, they can stop wasting it on – oh, you know, school lunches or whatever.”

A joint statement signed by all the Republican Congressthings and Senators declared: “We will never allow any foreigner to come here and tell the Congress what to do.”

All the Republican Congressthings and Senators boycotted the Prince’s speech. Democrat Congressthings and Senators also didn’t attend because, minority leader Senator Harvey Pooka explained, they were not boycotting the event, but they were a minority, and what could they do; it seemed best not to annoy the majority unnecessarily.

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