WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – Congressional leaders today confirmed bipartisan backing for a new Constitutional Amendment regarding the President and Vice-President. It is expected that the Amendment can be passed by Congress this year and ratified well before the 2016 elections, given its overwhelming support.
The bipartisan support was announced at a press conference jointly hosted by the Speaker of the House, John “Stone Age” Bomber, and the Minority Leader, Natty Petunia. Also present were the Senate leaders, the Chief Tweedles, Much McCoalface and Harvey Pooka.
There has so far been only minor fringe criticism of the proposed 29th Amendment. A few commentators have said that there seems little point in adopting an Amendment whose impact will be entirely symbolic. But “Symbolism is important,” said Senators McCoalface and Pooka. They pointed out that even though the Amendment dictates no practical changes, the same could be said of ancient Rome when it changed the title of its most powerful ruler to Augustus and the title of his immediate assistants to Caesar. These changes were symbolic, but for that very reason were important in conveying a message to the subjects of the Empire.
Similarly, when the title of President is changed to “Bush” or “Clinton”, depending on which wins the 2016 election, and the title of Vice-President is changed to “Clinton” or “Bush”, as a consolation prize for the loser, US subjects will no doubt get the idea.
Some rather pedantic critics have complained that this means that, from 2017 until at least 2021, the highest executive officer of the United States will be either Bush Bush or Clinton Clinton. And, if the 2020 election were to be contested by the same two candidates but the result were to reverse that of 2016, the US would then have as its chief executive either Bush Clinton or Clinton Bush.
Supporters of the Amendment say that wouldn’t matter in the slightest, that it’s even an advantage. “Voters will get used to it,” said Majority Tweedle McCoalface. “They’ve become accustomed to things a lot more absurd than that.”
“Someone named Joe President has never been excluded from running for President,” said Minority Tweedle Pooka. “The new titles are already well established, and the possibility of being ruled by a Bush Clinton or a Clinton Bush is entirely in keeping with our politics over the past century.”
House Minority Leader Petunia said that Congressional progressives were enthusiastic about the Amendment, which would broaden opportunities for all, but especially the downtrodden. “For the first time in our history, it will be true that any child can grow up to be President, because it won’t matter.”
News From Somewhere 