President explains ‘fake news’ on Hurricane Maria

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – President Ronald Dump today denounced what he called “a new source of fake news.”

“It’s a conspiracy, and the special prosecutor should get on to this, and leave those poor innocent Russians alone,” the President tweeted. “They are inventing fake news about people being killed by hurricanes in Poor Old Rico.”

President Dump was disputing a medical study which found that Hurricane Maria and its aftermath caused the deaths of nearly 3,000 people. “There may not even be that many Poor Old Ricans,” his tweet concluded.

The President visited the island shortly after the hurricane to distribute paper towels to residents whose paper towels might have blown away in the storm. “I didn’t see very many dead people on that trip,” he now says. “I didn’t see any, unless they were hiding somewhere, maybe under paper towels. And after we spent all that money to buy the towels.”

“The Dems made it all up,” the President told a rally of the National Weapons Association, called in support of his reelection in 2020, 2024, and 2028. “The Dems asked lots of Poor Old Ricans to die just to try to make me look bad. They might have made up the hurricane too.”

White House Press Secretary Sarah Wannabe Slanders later said that the President “wasn’t denying the reality of Hurricane Maria, or that it caused some inconvenience. He was just using President-talk to point out alternate realities.”

Asked whether there was any evidence for the President’s alternate reality, Slanders pointed out that “none of the alleged dead have contradicted the President’s view that they might have been induced to die.”