BRUSSELS (Rooters agency) – Around the world, share prices of defense industry corporations have jumped dramatically following US President Ronald Dump’s remarks to the summit meeting here of NETO (Nearly Everywhere Treaty Organization).
Dump took other participants in the summit by surprise. They had expected him to propose that NETO commandos conduct a training raid on Washington to remove some troublesome investigators. Instead, the US President proposed that all NETO members increase their military spending to 4 percent of GDP.
As a number of industry accountants quickly figured out, if followed, this proposal would result in the combined defense expenditures of the 29 NETO countries nearly equaling or surpassing the current military spending of the entire world.
“What more could we ask for?” the accountants exclaimed, to which their respective boards of directors replied, “We’re working on that.”
More cautious investors have indicated doubts as to whether the other NETO countries will accede to the US proposal. However, a White House insider has told Rooters that the President has mentioned a possible alternative plan if the other NETO members refuse to come to the party.
Apparently, Dump was recently informed by his national security advisor, Hawk Incitatus, that North Korea probably leads the world in military spending as a percentage of GDP. Indeed, a 2005 study, probably still accurate, by the RAND Corporation (Radioactive Ninjas and Destroyers) estimated that North Korea was spending 25-30 percent of its GDP on defense.
“That’s the spirit we need!” the President shouted on hearing the figure. “Get my friend Kim Jung-il Jim on the phone! North Korea has to be a member of NETO!”