Jilted plea: ‛Please come back’

LONDON (Rooters agency) – “We know you didn’t mean it.” These were the heartfelt words of most of the leaders of the Barely United Kingdom (BUK) after last week’s referendum approved leaving the European Union.

Announcing his intention to resign, Prime Minister Dandy Camelot declared: “The will of the British people is an instruction that must be delivered.”

Most people initially took that remark to mean that Parliament should do what was necessary to implement the decision the majority had voted for. However, many other politicians, newspaper columnists and influential people quickly declared that the will of the British people was not all that clear.

The media were soon filled with news from the people who know things that tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands or millions of Leave voters were already regretting the fit of pique that caused them to vote so foolishly.

“It was clearly not a rational decision, but one made in anger,” said a spokesman for the newly formed Group of the Misunderstood. “That was obvious from the way you slammed the door on your way out.”

“We know we haven’t always handled things perfectly,” the spokesman added, “but we always meant well. If we sometimes raised our voices, it was because we were fearful for your welfare – that your headstrong ways would prevent you following our example and improving your situation.

“But we were trying to look after you. That’s why our guidance was never physical – not often, anyway.

“Don’t throw away all the good times we had together, just because we may have enjoyed them more than you did.

“Please come back. We’ll give you another chance.”