Surprise court ruling on Presidency

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – In a decision that shocked many observers, the Supreme Court today ruled that President Ronald Dump’s term in office will end after two years.

Ruling in the case of Hopeful v. Dump, brought against the President by Enver Hopeful, the Democratic attorney general of the state of Western California, the Court upheld a large part of the argument that questioned Dump’s citizenship.

As is now well known, President Dump’s mother arrived in the United States as a tourist in 1930. There she met and married the President’s father, and therefore did not return to her native Scotland.

According to Mr. Hopeful’s suit, this made her an illegal immigrant. Therefore, she had no US citizenship to pass on to her son.

While it was for a long time believed that being born in the United States was sufficient, according to the Constitution, to make one automatically a citizen, it has recently been argued (including by some of the President’s most ardent supporters) that the Founders could not possibly have intended to legitimize and thereby encourage the presence, let alone the citizenship, of illegal fetuses who had not been properly and extremely vetted.

Taking up this reasoning, Mr. Hopeful argued that Mr. Dump was an “anchor baby” – not a native-born citizen and therefore not able to take the office of President.

While accepting this argument, the Supreme Court also took into consideration that there was no question that Mr. Dump’s father was a US citizen. It therefore concluded that his paternity made President Dump 50% of a citizen. Hence, Mr. Dump was entitled to take only 50% of the Presidential term and would be replaced by Vice President Mickey Tuppence on January 20, 2019 – provided there was no question about the latter’s citizenship.