WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – The Ronald Dump administration today has alerted the nation to the serious threat of hostile spying on its dinners.
Defending President Dump’s charge that he was “wire tapped” during last year’s election campaign by “former so-called President Barack Africa,” Presidential counselor Kelly Anna Conda said that the recent release of CIA documents by Wikileaks proves that all paranoid fantasies deserve to be taken seriously if they come from Dump’s side of politics.
The Wikileaks releases, Conda said, showed that evil people now have “microwaves that turn into cameras,” and of course they could have used these cameras to record Mr Dump’s telephone conversations.
Even more worrying was the likelihood that hostile immigrants and/or foreign powers are using microwave cameras to record what patriotic Dump-voting Americans are cooking. They would thus be able to learn who is and isn’t cooking halal food and, on that basis, compile a list of the households to be wiped out when sharia law is imposed.
Even more worrying still is the fact that American scientists have until now been completely silent about this threat to the welfare of all Americans. Either these scientists are incompetent, or they are in the pay of Chinese Muslim hoax makers. The President will therefore ask Congress to investigate science and whether or not scientists can be trusted.