Presidential Covid-19 ‘must be fake news’

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – Reports that President Ronald Dump and the First Lady Melancholia have been diagnosed with Covid-19 have been denounced by several of the President’s supporters.

One of the first was Special Presidential Investigator Rudely Juicy, who interrupted his enhanced interrogation of a Ukrainian former prosecutor to point out: “It can’t be true. The President has been taking hydroxychloroquine regularly, so we know he’s completely protected.”

Maine Republican Senator Doozy Complex added: “I am concerned. Again. And not for the first time. We don’t know if the First Lady has also been taking hydroxychloroquine. She might be in danger of contracting the disease from the President, who doesn’t have it.”

Rooters also asked for a comment from Dump’s choice to fill the vacancy on the Supine Corpse. Judge Angelica Cunning Rabbit said: “I couldn’t say anything about an issue that might come up before the Corpse. But we all know that the government has no legitimate involvement of any kind with medicine, so I can say that the President’s health is not nearly as important as whether any woman involved with the production of his hydroxychloroquine has ever had an abortion.”