Category Archives: Uncategorized

Court ruling throws election into turmoil

WASHINGTON, February 14, 2024 (Rooters agency) – An unexpected court ruling has disrupted nearly everyone’s expectations regarding the current presidential election campaign. In a surprise 6-3 decision, the country’s highest judicial body, the Supine Corpse, has disqualified former President Ronald … Continue reading

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Court decision spurs new industry

(Rooters agency analysis) – “Quick draw” is a skyrocketing industry in America, and it has nothing to do with the graphic arts. Across the United States, in red states and blue, businesses providing “rapid-response firearm training” are springing up and … Continue reading

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Texas schools scrambling to meet legal requirement

AUSTIN, TX (Rooters agency) – School boards and teachers are scrambling to find texts that conform with a new state law requiring schools and teachers to present both sides of political issues. Last week, education authorities informed the school board … Continue reading

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3 Governments defend new military pact

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – In what some analysts are calling “the biggest move for international peace and security since the Stalin-Hitler pact,” the US, UK, and Australia have formed a new defense alliance among the three countries. Since those countries … Continue reading

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Surprise disruption of MLB playoffs

TAMPA BAY (Rooters agency) October 7, 2021 – The Major League Baseball playoffs were thrown into confusion today when the opening game of the American League divisional series here was abruptly discontinued in the first inning. The Rays pitcher had … Continue reading

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New party plans road freedom protests

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – America’s newest political party has announced plans for protests on roads in major cities and at strategic locations on the interstate highway system. A spokesperson for the Complete Liberty Party said that “thousands, or dozens, of … Continue reading

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President comments on Cuba

WASHINGTON (Reuters agency) – Following is the text of a statement issued by President Joe Notrump on the situation in Cuba: “We stand with the Cuban people and their call for relief from the tragic grip of the coronavirus pandemic. … Continue reading

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NATO: What’s in a name?

BRUSSELS (Rooters agency) – To the surprise of many geopolitical scientists who weren’t paying attention, a big issue at this week’s NATO summit has been names. NATO of course stands for North Atlantic Treaty Organization. Even when it was first … Continue reading

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Secretary of State elaborates on right of self-defense

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – Defending the Administration’s refusal to condemn Israeli bombing of Gaza because “Israel has the right to defend itself,” Secretary of State Wynkin Blinkered today argued that “American support for the right of self-defense has a long … Continue reading

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Business puzzled by part of President’s speech

NEW YORK (Rooters agency) – While President Joe Notrump’s speech marking his 100 days in office was welcomed by many parts of the business community, a new and influential business association has expressed doubts about one passage. The press officer … Continue reading

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