Category Archives: Uncategorized

Senate majority strikes back

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – The Majority Leader of the Senate today announced his party’s counterattack against the impeachment of President Ronald Dump. After a day of speeches for and against convicting the President – but no testimony – Senator Mulch … Continue reading

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Retraction of our fake news

ATLANTA (Rooters4 agency), December 3, 2042 – The White House today denounced as “treasonous scare-mongering” our report yesterday, which fakedly said that Hurricane 27 last week had flooded large parts of Miami and Fort Lauderdale. Rooters4 unreservedly acknowledges the accuracy … Continue reading

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After exposure of QAnon

(Rooters agency analysis) – In a blow from which the Internet may never recover (but probably will, even quickly), last week the notorious figure QAnon, who had legions of followers of his exposure of an international child sex trafficking ring … Continue reading

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President praises Syria agreement

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – “Strategically brilliant!” “Pure genius!” “The biggest bestest thing that has ever happened in American foreign policy!” With these words, President Ronald Dump offered his measured evaluation of his latest moves in regard to the Turkey-Syrian Kurds … Continue reading

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How The Ronald defeated the Devilcrats

From The Dump Dynasty: A Short History for High School Students, Godly Press, 2033: With the blessings we enjoy today (the cause of the jealousy that makes the rest of the world hate us), it is too easy to forget … Continue reading

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Britain: Anarchy defeated

LONDON (Rooters agency) – As is well known by everyone, so we’re not sure why we still report it, the Barely United Kingdom descended into anarchy last week when the House of Commons voted no confidence in the government of … Continue reading

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President rallies to defend Saudi Arabia

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – The Administration of President Ronald Dump is giving its full support to Saudi Arabia following the drone attacks that left several of the family’s oil refineries in flames. In response to the attack, the Saud Crown … Continue reading

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