Category Archives: Uncategorized

‘Blessing’ creates misunderstanding

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – The State Department has been overwhelmed by diplomatic sympathy messages from around the world, all based on a misunderstanding. Unfortunately, an ambiguous network news release (not by Rooters), quoting President Ronald Dump’s statement that his contracting … Continue reading

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Presidential Covid-19 ‘must be fake news’

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – Reports that President Ronald Dump and the First Lady Melancholia have been diagnosed with Covid-19 have been denounced by several of the President’s supporters. One of the first was Special Presidential Investigator Rudely Juicy, who interrupted … Continue reading

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Message from space translated

UNITED NATIONS HEADQUARTERS, NEW YORK (Rooters agency) – The UN Secretary-General has released the provisional translation of the mysterious message that arrived from space last week. Nearly everyone on Earth has by now seen a video of the apparent “meteor” … Continue reading

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Administration plans further peace moves

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – Buoyed by its success in putting an end to the long-running wars between Israel and the United Arab Emirates and Israel and Bahrain, the Administration of President Ronald Dump is launching further peace offensives. “Peace in … Continue reading

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Plastics: Scientists find no need for concern

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – Scientists this week announced some good news: we can stop worrying about the amount of plastic accumulating in our environment, and particularly in our food chain. Some scientists and environmentalists have long been concerned about the … Continue reading

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President says: you can prove police aren’t racist

President says: you can prove police aren’t racist WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – President Ronald Dump today issued a challenge to supporters of Black Lives Matter and other critics of police behavior to test their charges of racism in policing. Speaking … Continue reading

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President confident for future

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – At a press conference today, President Ronald Dump declared that he is not concerned about many of the problems currently troubling the country. Asked about the upsurge of Covid-19 infections, the President was confident. “It’s going … Continue reading

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State Department overwhelmed by visa submissions

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – In recent weeks, insiders report, the State Department has been “absolutely swamped” by submissions from officials of foreign governments setting out the reasons they believe they should be banned from receiving US visas. “I am not … Continue reading

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President challenges ‘unfair’ dead

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – President Ronald Dump has said he is being unfairly targeted by “dead Democrats” who are manipulating statistics in an effort to discredit him. The President tweeted the idea he had spoken of at his Tulsa rally, … Continue reading

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President: Rally ‘biggest ever’

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – President Ronald Dump has denied that his campaign rally in Tulsa had failed to live up to his advance description, which said: “The event in Oklahoma is unbelievable. The crowds are unbelievable. They haven’t seen anything … Continue reading

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