President announces unusual lawsuit

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – President Ronald Dump has filed a lawsuit that may break new legal ground, saying that it is defamatory and untrue that he fired FBI Director James Comfy because the latter was heading an investigation into possible collusion between the Russian Government and the Dump presidential election campaign.

“Witch hunt UNTRUE SLANDER. I never did that. OR ANYTHING so shut up. OR YOU’LL BE SORRY,” the President tweeted yesterday morning.

Half an hour later, he followed with: “My lawyer will sue over witch hunt accusation that Russia thing was behind firing of Comfy slimeball.”

Today, when President Dump’s attorney Mick Clobber filed the paperwork asking for $150 million as compensation for “egregious nasty witch-hunt slimy false accusations,” reporters were surprised to discover that the main defendant, who had allegedly made the charges “on national NBC television and to foreign diplomats,” was one Ronald Dump.

Attorney Clobber acknowledged that it was “unusual” for someone to sue himself, but there was nothing in the Constitution that prohibited it, and “if you keep asking smart alec questions, I can find out where you live.”

It is not completely clear whether Clobber will represent both the plaintiff and the defendant when the case comes to trial. It may not go to trial, however, because he indicated that Plaintiff Dump was amenable to a settlement, in which the compensation for Defendant Dump’s words would be paid by the US Government, since Defendant Dump was a Government official when he made the defamatory remarks.