Unusual lawsuit over comparisons with President

NEW YORK (Rooters agency) – In an unusual, probably unprecedented, move, attorneys have filed a “class action” lawsuit in which the “class” is made up of defendants, rather than plaintiffs.

Almost as unusual is the fact that virtually the entire world has long believed that the plaintiff died many years ago.

Legal observers said that the new suit may be a sign of coming legal shake-ups resulting from the election of President T. Ronald Dump.

The suit, filed in Federal Court by the long established legal firm of Grasper & Grasper, seeks damages, a public apology, and an injunction preventing the defendants from ever again “stating or implying that the behavior, statements, or intentions of T. Ronald Dump, either before or subsequent to his assumption of the office of President, are in any way equivalent or substantially similar to” those of the plaintiff.

The plaintiff is Adolf Hitler. This is surprising, since most historians believe that Hitler died in a Berlin bunker in 1945. Also, if Hitler somehow escaped Germany at the end of World War II – as was occasionally claimed in the 1950s and ’60s – and if he was still alive, he would now be 127 years old.

There is as yet no legal representation for the defendants, who would appear to be everyone who has ever compared President Dump with Hitler.

However, journalists did raise some questions at the Grasper & Grasper press conference which announced the suit. One was: “Is the plaintiff really alive, or are you channeling him from the spirit world?”

The legal firm’s spokesperson did not directly address that question, saying, “The supposition that our client lacks standing to bring this suit will be challenged by the alternative facts that we intend to present to the court.”

On the substance of the suit, the spokesperson said: “Our client has suffered enormous reputational and emotional damage from the allegations of the defendant, which are totally unjustified.

“It is especially hurtful to our client to see himself compared to someone with such a limited ability to study or understand reality. While Mr Hitler acknowledges that he made occasional mistakes, as anyone does, he insists that Operation Barbarossa ‘was a master stroke that nearly succeeded.’ He says that, if Dump had been in charge, ‘He wouldn’t have been able to find Moscow on a map.’”

Despite such criticisms, the plaintiff has no animosity towards President Dump, the spokesperson continued. “In fact, our client has said that he looks forward to many interesting conversations with Mr Dump when they eventually meet person to person.”