President’s press conference praises his achievements

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – President Ronald Dump today told a press conference that he had done more in his first weeks in office “than any President since Benjamin Franklin.”

And I got more electoral college votes than Franklin did,” the President added. “In fact, I don’t think Franklin ever went to college.”

He had brought about Brexit, nearly persuaded China to revalue its currency the yen and to “send back millions of jobs stolen from America,” told the Mexican and Iranian governments where to get off, and “told the Austrian President we don’t want any of his terrorist refugees.”

The President also rejected charges that the administration was in “chaos.” The administration is “fine-tuned,” he insisted. “I just haven’t decided who is going to be in it. But they will all be fine. Don’t worry. You’ll be happy. Blacks too. I am going to appoint a special advisor for civil rights, a famous Black man, Frederick Douglass.”

Asked by a reporter whether there was a conflict between his ban on Muslims and his oath to “preserve, protect and defend the Constitution,” President Dump replied, “That is just fake news. The so-called Constitution, it’s just locker room talk, a joke. So-called journalists can’t take a joke. Pathetic.”

This remark was later clarified by presidential counselor Constance Alleyway: “The President was not making light of his oath, which he takes very seriously. He was simply referring to an alternative Constitution. This administration is devoted to equality, and we believe that all Constitutions are equal.”