President praises Syria agreement

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – “Strategically brilliant!” “Pure genius!” “The biggest bestest thing that has ever happened in American foreign policy!”

With these words, President Ronald Dump offered his measured evaluation of his latest moves in regard to the Turkey-Syrian Kurds crisis.

The President was referring to the agreement that Vice President Mickey Tuppence and Secretary of State Dick Pillow had reached with Turkish leader Precept Bunyip Arrogan.

The agreement centers on a ceasefire between Turkish and US forces, which is expected to hold because these forces had not been firing on each other, aside from the occasional accidental Turkish artillery barrage when it appears that US troops are not getting out of the way quickly enough.

The Turkish Government has also agreed not to fire on any Kurds who leave the 5,000 or 6,000 square miles of northern Syria that Turkey intends to occupy, unless they get uppity.

“This will save millions of lives,” the President predicted. “Maybe billions. What a shame I wasn’t President in World War One, when the Germans attacked Pearl Harbor. I would have sent a letter and made a deal with that Hitler guy for peace in our time.”