President jailed on his own recommendation

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – President Ronald Dump was today removed from office and jailed, on his own recommendation.

After learning of Dump’s proposal that trials and judges be done away with in cases where guilt was clear in his mind, Cabinet and Congress immediately realized that this applied to Dump himself, whose behavior clearly showed that he was well aware of his own guilt. His incoherent objections only hastened the process.

It is not immediately clear whether Vice President Mickey Tuppence will be sworn in as the new President or jailed along with Dump. It is reported that a minority of Congress and Cabinet are arguing that Tuppence should be spared on the unlikely ground that Dump might have been unaware of Tuppence’s character and record.

A more long-term issue is whether the Dump Doctrine will be applied generally. It seems possible that the country’s relief at Dump’s removal could lead to the complete replacement of courts and judges by the jailing or execution of anybody accused by anyone, especially if nearly everyone knew they were guilty.

It is particularly difficult to know how this issue will be resolved, because it is reported that a very large number of members of the Government and Congress have fled the country.