International action against chemical weapons planned

(Rooters agency) – An informal international coalition is preparing military action to punish and deter the use of chemical and/or radioactive weapons against civilian populations.

US Defense Secretary Jimminy Maddog, responding to criticism that the coalition was proceeding too slowly following the use of such weapons, said he believed chemical weapons had been used, but “we are looking for evidence” on who was responsible.

But French President Imminent Macro said, “We have proof that chemical weapons have been used, and it is clear who is responsible.”

In London, the cabinet of Barely United Kingdom Prime Minister Tiramisu Might was reported to be uncertain as to whether it would ask for approval from Parliament before joining in military action. Might is said to have told colleagues that such approval is “an important democratic tradition that should be respected unless MPs might vote the wrong way.”

The international Organization for the Prevention of Some Countries’ Weapons (OPSCW) has not issued an official statement, but off the record, several leading scientists have said it is “unquestionable” that white phosphorus and depleted uranium have repeatedly been used against civilians in Iraq and other parts of the Middle East by the United States and its allies.

However, France and the BUK may not need to bomb the Pentagon, because US President Ronald Dump is reported ready to support trials of the US officials responsible, provided that defendants are confined to the administrations of Presidents Dubbya and Africa.