White House to change wording of Second Amendment

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – A surprise by-product of President Ronald Dump’s trip to the Middle East may be a new amendment to the Constitution – or, to be precise, an amendment of an existing amendment.
This situation has grown out of the President’s annoyance with Iran, which had the effrontery to hold a presidential election at the same time President Dump was meeting with a lot of heads of government and heads of state most of whom had never been elected to anything. “They’re trying to make us look bad,” Dump told his non-elected audience. “They’ll be sorry.”
Commentators were not certain whether Dump objected to the Iranians having any election, or only one in which the candidate with the most votes was declared the winner.
At his next stop, in Israel, President Dump praised Israel’s efforts to keep nuclear weapons out of the region and went on to demand that Iran stop supporting “terrorists and militias.”
It is not clear who, only a day later, sent the President a message saying, “The Constitution says militias are a good thing. See the Second Amendment.”
And, as the President’s advisors quickly discovered, it is true. The Second Amendment of the Constitution reads: “A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”
“How the hell did that get in there?” the President screamed when this was read to him. “The Second Amendment is only supposed to say you can buy as many guns as you want. Andrew Jackson didn’t write that, I bet!”
If the news about the content of the Second Amendment got out, the President’s advisors agreed, some people might start thinking that militias were a good thing – or, even worse, that the Second Amendment was wrong. It was therefore decided that the amendment would be amended to read:
“Guns being good, the right of the people to own and fire guns shall not be infringed.”
“It’s what everyone thinks it says now,” Blazes Banshee, the Chief Rasputin, pointed out, “so there probably won’t be any objections.”
However, amending the Constitution is normally a time-consuming process, “and this is urgent,” as the President pointed out. He came up with the solution himself: he would make the amendment by Executive Order.