First Lady reappears, but Presidential mysteries still unsolved

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – The public reappearance of the President’s wife, Vanilla Dump, has quieted only a small part of the country’s concern with people or things that have gone missing.

One ongoing question since the 2016 election concerns the 4 or 5 million illegal immigrants who voted against President Ronald Dump in order to deny him his deserved victory in the popular vote: where have they been hiding for the last year and a half?

A much bigger mystery is what has happened to the President’s brain. As is obvious from his daily tweets and oral statements, his descriptions of letters he hasn’t opened, and all the rest, Ronald Dump’s brain has gone missing. But where did it go, and when did it depart?

A noted psychologist, who asked to remain anonymous, outlined some of the parameters: “He obviously was born with a brain: that’s why he chose to have a father who was an indulgent millionaire. And it appears that he got through primary school without excessive parental intervention.

“High school isn’t quite so clear. Still, while he wasn’t the university whiz that he claims to have been, he was able to find his way to classes, at least most of the time. That requires a brain, even if not an outstanding one.”

This suggests that Dump’s brain decided to leave him some time between his completion of university and the launch of his campaign for the presidency.

It is generally agreed that, provided one had the right connections, a brain was not needed to make money in the New York-New Jersey-Mafia property market during the time when Ronald Dump finally managed to increase the money his father had given him. But of course that doesn’t prove that his brain had already departed; it might have just been sitting around getting bored.

Some observers say that it is clear that Dump’s brain departed before the launch of his unreal TV show, Subordinate Appendix. Doubters of that view counter that much the same could easily be said about performers on nearly every US television program.

Just as there are varying views on when the brain left, there is no agreement on where it went initially. But while there are several different theories on where the brain has been (conditioned by the view as to when it left), most political observers here believe that it is now being held for ransom somewhere in Russia.