President, Congress resolve North Korea problem

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – Supported by a large majority of Congress, President Ronald Dump today announced a solution to the North Korean development of nuclear weapons and ballistic missiles.

“We are thinking and praying about this,” the President said. “That settles it, so we can move on to the border wall, which I may also think and pray about.”

The President added a remark to cover the possibility that the thoughts and prayers might not be totally effective. “Anyway, if Rocket Fingers was going to nuke California, he’d have to send it across the ocean. A big ocean. Full of water. Lots of water. And they didn’t vote for me.”

Representatives and Senators from both parties rushed to endorse the President’s solution. A Google search confirms that, in the last 24 hours, the phrase “thoughts and prayers” has occurred more often on Congressional Facebook postings than the word “the.”

Rooters queries of both the executive and legislative branches found no support for further action. One senator summed up the prevailing mood: “If thoughts and prayers can’t do it, what else could?”

The only possible doubts about the solution may have been expressed by the object of the prayers. In early evening, a fiery message appeared in the sky over Washington: “Please stop blaming me.”