WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – “We have evidence now and are going to act on it. BIGLY,” President Ronald Dump tweeted after the latest school shooting.
The President was apparently referring to the incident in Indiana, where a student entered a classroom carrying a pistol and began firing at other students. He was disarmed by a brave and quick-thinking teacher, who threw a basketball at the shooter and then knocked the gun from his hand.
Summoning leaders of the Senate and House of Representatives, President Dump told them that he wanted them immediately to pass a “huge bill” requiring the urgent distribution of basketballs to all of the nation’s teachers.
White House Press Secretary Sarah Wannabe Slanders later told reporters that the President “thinks that events have shown clearly, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good person with a basketball.”
Slanders added that that Republicans in Congress would promote the proposed legislation with the slogan, “Guns don’t kill people. The absence of basketballs kills people.”
However, some of the President’s supporters expressed doubts about the plan or its motivation. Barry Bogus III, president of the National Weapons Association, said, “I’m surprised that Ronald Dump would fall for what looks to me like fake news.”
On the other hand, Bogus added, “Perhaps it’s a clever ploy. Basketballs are hollow. They could have a gun or explosives inside.”