Author Archives: letters2pppapers

Unexpected results of increased religious liberty

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – Political observers here are wondering whether President Ronald Dump received the best political and legal advice before he announced changes to health insurance rules last week. The changes allow any company or institution that provides health … Continue reading

Posted in birth control, health insurance, religion, witches | Leave a comment

Secretary of State arrested

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – After the first nine months of the Ronald Dump Administration, it was only mildly surprising when the Secretary of State Rexxon Pillager was arrested this morning. Pillager was taken into custody by the Frequently Bungling Inquisitors … Continue reading

Posted in Espionage Act, Secretary of State | Leave a comment

President, Congress resolve North Korea problem

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – Supported by a large majority of Congress, President Ronald Dump today announced a solution to the North Korean development of nuclear weapons and ballistic missiles. “We are thinking and praying about this,” the President said. “That … Continue reading

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Myanmar leader responds: What she learned from US President

NAYPYIDAW (Rooters agency) – The following are major excerpts from the September19 speech to diplomats delivered by Myanmar’s Unpresident, Aung San Jekyll Hyde: Today our government has not yet been in power for even 18 months. Eighteen months is a … Continue reading

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UN votes to relocate

NEW YORK (Rooters agency) – In a voice vote, the UN General Assembly has adopted the Secretary-General’s recommendation to move the international organization to Washington. The motion to relocate the United Nations to the Washington hotel Dump’s Dump was presented … Continue reading

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Alliance wary of Russian military exercises

ESTONIA (Rooters agency) – A high official of the Nearly Everywhere Treaty Organization has sharply criticized current Russian military exercises as “outrageous” and “threatening.” Jan Stutterstop, secretary-general of NETO, spoke to reporters after visiting British troops stationed in Estonia as … Continue reading

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President calls for more statues

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – President Ronald Dump has called for a national effort to “preserve America’s wonderful history and wonderful heritage very much” through the building of “very big very beautiful statues.” Speaking at a press conference called to explain … Continue reading

Posted in Mount Rushmore, statues | Leave a comment