Author Archives: letters2pppapers

Economic analysis: Go long on shooting

BRUSSELS (Rooters agency) – Around the world, share prices of defense industry corporations have jumped dramatically following US President Ronald Dump’s remarks to the summit meeting here of NETO (Nearly Everywhere Treaty Organization). Dump took other participants in the summit … Continue reading

Posted in military spending, North Korea, RAND Corporation | Leave a comment

US offers olive branch to Kim

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – Secretary of State Dick Pompous this week held out an olive branch to the North Korean regime of Kim Jung-il Jim. Following his visit to Pyongyang, where Pompous discovered that the North Korean leader hadn’t heard … Continue reading

Posted in Libya, North Korea, nuclear weapons, Vietnam War | Leave a comment

White House statement on killing of journalists

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – On behalf of President Ronald Dump, who was busy tweeting, White House Press Secretary Sarah Wannabe Slanders today issued a strong statement on the murder of five employees of a Maryland newspaper: “Strongly condemn the evil … Continue reading

Posted in Capital Gazette | Leave a comment

Justices uphold Nixon Doctrine

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – A majority of the US Supine Corpse has broken new judicial ground, in part by channeling a former President. In its decision upholding President Ronald Dump’s right to ban from entering the country anyone he doesn’t … Continue reading

Posted in travel ban | Leave a comment

President jailed on his own recommendation

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – President Ronald Dump was today removed from office and jailed, on his own recommendation. After learning of Dump’s proposal that trials and judges be done away with in cases where guilt was clear in his mind, … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Space Force

[From a speech recorded at a political rally.] We’re in the middle of a galaxy. An absolutely hugely huge galaxy, probably the biggest galaxy there has ever been and never will be. It’s full of aliens. Aliens. If we let … Continue reading

Posted in aliens, Space Force | Leave a comment

Government vanishes into flying saucer

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – Flying saucers from the Galactic Center today removed President Dump and large parts of the government of the United States. The aliens issued a statement of explanation: “We apologize to the inhabitants of this planet, and … Continue reading

Posted in flying saucers | Leave a comment