Author Archives: letters2pppapers

The strange events after US-North Korea summit

[Excerpted from The Decline and Fall of the Gringo Empire (English translation), by Professor Basta de Pendejadas, Caracas and Kinshasa, 2037.] Historians have long disagreed about the second strangest event of 2018. But there is virtual unanimity that the strangest … Continue reading

Posted in North Korea | Leave a comment

Playwright’s heirs sue President

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – In an unprecedented legal case, descendants of William Shakespeare have filed a plagiarism suit against President Ronald Dump and unnamed “co-conspirators in the United States Executive and Congress.” The President and others are accused of unlawfully … Continue reading

Posted in Macbeth | Leave a comment

Administration says maybe armed teachers not needed

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – In a surprise development, the White House appears to be retreating from President Ronald Dump’s call for teachers to be armed to defend schoolchildren from harm during any of the country’s semiweekly mass slaughters. A day … Continue reading

Posted in guns, schoolchildren | Leave a comment

President responds to latest mass killing

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – “We’re Number One! NUMBER ONE!” the President tweeted this morning. “USA! USA! Better than anyone!” Press Secretary Sarah Wannabe Slanders later told reporters that, while she couldn’t be certain, it appeared that President Dump was referring … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

US President comments on South Africa

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – “See! It shows I was right! It proves African countries are shithouses.” According to White House insiders, these words were the response of President Ronald Dump to the news that South Africa’s President had been forced … Continue reading

Posted in corruption, South Africa | Leave a comment

White House declares support for women

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – The White House today unequivocally declared President Ronald Dump’s support for women victims of domestic violence. Press secretary Sarah Wannabe Slanders said that “the President’s complete sympathy and support go out to those women who have … Continue reading

Posted in domestic violence | Leave a comment

White House chief of staff on the ropes

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – President Ronald Dump’s vocal endorsement of Long John Emptybarrel has convinced political observers that the White House chief of staff is on his way out. Speaking on behalf of the President, counselor Kelly Anna Conda said … Continue reading

Posted in domestic violence | Leave a comment