Author Archives: letters2pppapers

Job application

The Governor, Raleigh, NC Dear Sir, I would like to apply for a job as a Teacher in your Excellent State. Because I have just learned that North Carolina is going to allow teachers to carry guns in schools. I am … Continue reading

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Feeling lonely? You’re not alone

Ironically, surveys reveal that loneliness is increasing, even as the number of people around us increases. How can this be? Some people say it’s because too many of all these new people are different from me. That may well be … Continue reading

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Former schoolteacher will not run for President

WEST BUNGYVILLE (Rooters agency) – Former schoolteacher Daisy Dandelion today ended months of speculation by announcing that she will not run for President in 2020, disappointing many of her followers. Since her retirement from teaching, the 68-year-old Dandelion has remained … Continue reading

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Ho-hum: Former fixer reveals more Presidential crimes

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – President Ronald Dump is a “cheat,” “con man,” “liar,” “racist,” “sexist,” “tax fraudster,” “Russian agent,” “corrupter,” “library fine defaulter,” “adulterer,” “bribe recipient,” “Saudi agent,” “falsifier of evidence,” “conspirator,” “mass killer,” “and numerous other disgusting things I … Continue reading

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Church conclave condemns sexual abuse, if caught

ROME (Rooters agency) – Pope Frankie John Paul Mark II today declared “all-out disapproval” of priests, bishops, archbishops, cardinals, and popes who have been, or in the future may be, caught in flagrante delicto sexually abusing children. “Of course, this … Continue reading

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Venezuela recognizes other candidate as US President

CARACAS (Rooters agency) – In a move widely applauded in less economically developed parts of Africa, Asia, and Latin America, the Venezuela government today announced that it was withdrawing recognition of “usurper Ronald Dump” as President of the United States. … Continue reading

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