President confident for Korea summit

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – President Ronald Dump and Secretary of State Dick Pompous are said to be optimistic about the upcoming June 12 summit meeting between Dump and North Korean President Kim Jung-il Jim.

For a start, White House insiders say, both Dump and Pompous “express confidence approaching 90%” that Dump will still be President on the date of the scheduled meeting.

Also, the White House has pooh-poohed fears of some political observers that Kim might out-maneuver the US President. As White House Press Secretary Sarah Wannabe Slanders put it, “The President is a great negotiator. Do you know anyone else who could continue to get bank loans after that many bankruptcies?”

Secretary Pompous has publicly offered economic aid to North Korea if the United States gets what it wants from the summit meeting. “We can promise them even more than we gave Iraq or Libya,” Pompous said. “Or Iran. When it comes to promises, the sky’s the limit.”

Slanders later insisted that this remark by Secretary Pompous was not a veiled threat to use drone weapons against North Korea. She said it referred to a recently formalized US policy called “Promise them anything, but give them Dump.”

Asked by a reporter whether ending the agreement with Iran would hinder future diplomacy, Slanders replied, “We think it works pretty well. The Iranians gave up their enriched uranium for a promise to end sanctions. The sanctions are back on, but do you think the Iranians are going to get their uranium back?”

Has Kim Jung-il Jim commented on the US withdrawal from the Iran agreement? “No,” said Slanders. “We’re hoping he doesn’t follow English-language media.”