WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – The White House has denied that it is exerting undue influence over the FBI’s investigation of accusations concerning Judge Brash Cattlecar, President Dump’s nominee to become a Justice on the Supine Corpse.
After the majority of the Senate Jungular Committee eagerly and enthusiastically asked the President to order an FBI investigation of the accusations and the President did so, some Democrats and other critics worried aloud that the Administration might limit the scope of the FBI’s work.
White House Press Secretary Sarah Wannabe Slanders today dismissed such fears. “This Administration has great respect for the FBI,” she said, “and its respect will only increase once the President has finished removing any of its remaining officials who don’t do exactly as they’re told. We think they all know which side their bread is buttered on, so we don’t have to be too obvious about it.”
Slanders denied that the Administration was giving FBI agents detailed instructions on who they could question. “The Administration is not micromanaging the investigation,” she insisted. “If you know anything about President Trump, you know he is a big picture man. He doesn’t like dealing with minor details, such as sums of money smaller than a billion dollars or sexual assaults or how detained refugee children are ever going to find their parents again.
“The President is not micromanaging the investigation. He is macromanaging it, as is his proper role. If you aren’t certain what that means, just wait until you see the result.”
News From Somewhere 