Job application

The Governor, Raleigh, NC

Dear Sir,

I would like to apply for a job as a Teacher in your Excellent State. Because I have just learned that North Carolina is going to allow teachers to carry guns in schools.

I am very well qualified to carry a gun in any school. Even when I was a little boy and only had a slingshot, I had a deadly aim I could kill a squirrel at 30 feet. Now I am still a deadeye with a rifle or a pistol or even a slingshot still if the commie greenies take our guns a way.

I always thought that guns in school is a good idea because it scares away the terrists and also helps the pupils to learn about American Values and the Constitutional Amendments that protects our Freedoms. Like the Second Freedom, the Right to Shoot Guns.

Also, if the Teacher has a gun the pupils might probably think it’s a good idea to behave themselves. (Just joking.)

I could also be a Teacher in a high school. Because I think there are more crazy pupils and terrists in high schools, so I could be useful there. But I would like and maybe it’s better if I teach in a primary school. Where I could show the boys how to aim slingshots during recess and Values stuff like that.

Yours sincerely,


P.S. I have my own guns or does the school supply them for me? If I use my guns, does the school pay me a rent for them? Who pays for the bullets?