Syrian deal could be breakthrough

DAMASCUS (Rooters agency) – In what is being seen as a possible breakthrough for international peace, the Syrian government and the rebel Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF), which are fighting to overthrow it, today agreed to jointly implement measures to reduce dangerous tensions between the United States and Russia.

Many details of the plan are still secret, for reasons for which the two parties are still seeking justifications. However, it was announced that the agreement requires Russia to cease assisting rebels in the eastern Ukraine (something which Moscow denies it is doing) and requires the US to stop sending naval armadas into the Black Sea (something which Washington insists it will continue doing as long as Russia “aggressively maintains a shoreline” on that sea).

The Syrian government-SDF deal may also call for tension-reducing measures in the Mediterranean, where Russia has recently stepped up its naval presence. This has been considered threatening by the US, which has a long history there. As was pointed out recently by the US Navy Secretary Ray “Gun” Moebius, “We’ve been in the Mediterranean continuously for 70 years now, since World War Two, and we might as well stick around for the third one.”

Spokespeople for both the Syrian government and the SDF, who all commented on condition of not being named, indicated that they hoped to bring about direct negotiations between Russian Foreign Minister Serried Lavash and US Secretary of State John T. Kettle.