Je suis, Inc.

Topical T-Shirts Inc.

Grosse Motor, Nebraska

Notice to Employees and Staff

It’s an ill wind that blows no good” – the Bible (or the Declaration of Independence or the Internet?)

We in Topical T-Shirts Management of course deeply regret the savage murder of Charlie Hebdo and his family and friends. But life goes on, as Mr Hebdo’s family would be the first to agree, when they approved the issuing of the T-shirt with the slogan “Je suis Charlie” (Danish for “I am Charlie”).

Unfortunately, that T-shirt was produced by one of our competitors, but we are pleased to report that the TTS team has responded with numerous suggestions of slogans that could allow us to recover and even increase our market share. After evaluation by Management, not all suggestions were deemed suitable for production, but we thank all team members who made the effort to think of and submit slogans.

Management has decided that the following suggestions are not commercially viable at present:

“Je suis Palestine.”

“Je suis en Guantánamo.”

“Je suis Africa.”

“Je suis Pakistani wedding party.”

“Je suis African American.”

“Je suis Muslim.”

“Je suis female.”

“Je suis poor.”

“Je suis LGBTQI.”

“Je suis a slave in a T-shirt factory.”

“Je suis le monde.”

The following suggested slogans are still under consideration (if one is produced, the employee or staff member first suggesting it will receive the usual $50 bonus):

“Je suis Tea Party.”

“Je suis Christian Fundamentalist.”

“Je suis Koch Brothers.”

“Je suis coal.”

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