Government blocks trials of military

ROME, 40 AD (Rooters agency) – The Imperial Government has announced sanctions against judges, prosecutors, or any other judicial officials who presume to bring to trial, or even investigate, members of the Imperial Armed Forces (IAF) alleged to have violated the laws of war.

A decree signed yesterday by Emperor Caligula denies travel permits to anyone who impugns members of the IAF. It further imposes economic penalties, up to confiscation of all property, on any official who tries to bring judicial charges against anyone in the IAF.

The main target of the decree, announced by Imperial Lord of the Stool Michael Pompeii, appears to be a religious cult that has arisen recently in Judea, one of the Empire’s more restive eastern provinces, where the IAF has often had to respond to uprisings and provocations.

The cult focuses on one Jesus of Nazareth, an unemployed carpenter who was executed for treason seven years ago. Followers of the cult have alleged that the said Jesus, or Iesu, was unjustly tried, sentenced, and executed as the result of a conspiracy between leaders of the Jerusalem garrison of the IAF and an indigenous cult that Jesus is said to have offended.

These Iesuans, as they have become known, have called for leaders of the Jerusalem IAF and their co-conspirators in the indigenous cult to be brought to trial and crucified for the alleged injustice.

It is well known that the Emperor has no objection to crucifying people who pretend to worship a god other than Himself, but the Imperial Government obviously cannot allow judicial proceedings against the IAF. If such things were allowed, what would happen to the Empire?