G7 disagree with President on Russia

BIARRITZ (Rooters agency) – As expected, the leaders of the Gross Seven (G7) meeting here have disagreed with a proposal by President Ronald Dump to re-admit Russia to the group, making it once again the G8.

Russia was expelled from the group five years ago for “groping its neighbors.” This penalty, the US President argued, was “excessive.” Groping was “not so bad and mostly fake news. Just locker room talk really.”

According to a European diplomat who spoke on condition of anonymity, “Most of the other leaders insisted on this being a community of liberal democracies and for that reason they said you cannot allow [Russian President Vladitude] Buttinsky back in.”

Some of President Dump’s advisors, especially Hawk Incitatus, the President’s National Somnambulist Advisor, took particular exception to this argument. One White House insider said that Incitatus “pointed out that we don’t want to be part of any liberal community. In fact, we don’t want communities of any kind.

“And as for that democracy stuff – who needs it? The President agreed that ‘next the Europeans will be using it to say we don’t belong.’”