Why President forgot the lyrics

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – White House insiders have explained the reason for President Ronald Dump’s apparent inability to remember the words of “God Bless America” during a public ceremony held to condemn the Philadelphia Eagles NFL team for lèse-majesté.

Rooters can reveal exclusively that the executive branch, with the President’s hands-on guidance, has been revising the lyrics of “God Bless America,” believing that an updating of the words is overdue.

So, when the song was played at the Eagles two minutes hate ceremony, President Dump must have suffered a temporary mental block caused by confusion between the old and new lyrics, and that is why he stopped singing. It should be noted that the new version of the song is three times the length of the original, which would have added to his indecision about which words to sing.

While the new words of the song are still a work in progress and there may be further changes, Rooters has received a copy of the revision as it currently stands. The President’s personal involvement is evident from the many misspellings in the text, which is reproduced below (Rooters has corrected the misspellings):

God bless my bigotry
Hate that I love
Stand beside me
And guide me
As I give other races the shove.

From the klaverns
To the prisons
To the shootings’
Bloody foam
God bless my police force
My guard, my home.

Save me from immigrants
Muslims as well
Build a wall quick
Use a big stick
Beat the Yids and their kids back to hell.

From the Breitbart
To the Fox News
To the alt-right
Mouthing foam
God bless my media
My guard, my home.

Stop all the feminists’
Views that I fear
Deep inside me
Want to hide me
From hearing what I don’t want to hear.

From the ALEC
To the Congress
To Supreme Court’s
Legal tomes
God bless my lawyers
My guard, my home.

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