President takes firm stand on killing children

ASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – President Ronald Dump today explained his administration’s attitude toward the killing of children.

The US will condemn such killings “when it’s done by foreigners without our permission,” the President stated. “When you do something like that only a few days after we promise to leave you in office – well, that crosses the telephone lines and confuses people.

“It can make them think there is something wrong with killing the children of terrorists. Like in Yemen. I promised you, remember. We had to kill those kids because their parents were terrorists. We knew they were terrorists because they were living in a country that has lots of terrorists. Lots. Believe me. Lots. Also, some of them fired at our troops when they landed in the village.

“So those Yemen kids were collateral damage in a very successful operation. Very successful. Defeating terrorism by killing anything that moves. And those kids moved, until we dropped bombs on them. We have film to prove it. Absolutely.”

This was quite different from the government of Syria killing its own children with poison gas, President Dump pointed out. “You can’t aim poison gas, like we can aim smart bombs. Gas can kill innocent kids, but our smart bombs are aimed precisely to kill just kids whose parents are terrorists. Smart.

“So if there are any terrorists in Syria, President Basher al-Desade should leave the killing of their children to us. If he won’t do that, we might not support his re-election.”