Feeling lonely? You’re not alone

Ironically, surveys reveal that loneliness is increasing, even as the number of people around us increases.

How can this be? Some people say it’s because too many of all these new people are different from me.

That may well be the reason. And therefore it’s understandable if you feel the need to respond to this threat by buying a gun or two (see our website for an amazing selection).

But there are also other ways to overcome loneliness that might suit your needs. For example, you could wear a MAGA hat, and then feel safe and connected with other people wearing MAGA hats (see our website for an amazing selection of sizes and colors).

However, some of those other people wearing MAGA hats might not really be friends. They might be enemies wearing the hat to deceive us. No wonder you feel alone.

And there are many people who wouldn’t wear MAGA hats who also feel lonely.

Don’t worry: we cater for everyone.

You don’t have to be alone. Siri and Alexa were only the beginning. Modern technology means that you can now converse with any number of differently designed online artificial people (artpeeps) who will never contradict you (unless you want them to).

Even better, it is now possible to buy or rent an artpeep that is physically present, and which looks just like a human being, with whatever modifications you prefer (see our website for an amazing selection of models and prices).

So your problems are over. Loneliness is no longer a problem, because people are now unnecessary. (We accept all credit cards.)