Author Archives: letters2pppapers

MOSCOW (Rooters agency) – Russian President Vladitude Buttinsky has denied that Russia’s recent military intervention in Florida was an act of “aggression” against the United States. On the contrary, Buttinsky insisted, the Russian activity was “at the specific request” of … Continue reading →

NEW HAMPSHIRE (Rooters agency) – To the surprise of at least some of the devout, Brian Wrinkly did not do at all well in this state’s Republican primary ballot. After receiving 0.7 percent of the votes in Iowa’s caucus a … Continue reading →

WASHINGTON (Reuters agency) – President Joe Notrump has denied widespread speculation that bombing attacks were launched on Yemen as “payoffs” to Saudi Arabia, which has been attacking the country with air raids for many years. “That’s nonsense,” the President replied … Continue reading →

WASHINGTON, July 31, 1877 (Rooters agency) – The American government has rejected suggestions that its dispute with western Indian tribes over ownership of the Black Hills should be submitted to arbitration. Mr. Progress Babble, a spokesman for the Rutherford Hayes … Continue reading →

In response to Israeli bombing raids on Gaza over several months, US President Joe Notrump today declared that “Palestinians’ right to defend themselves,” while “all very well in theory,” is unfortunately “not really practical in today’s world.” In the current … Continue reading →

Wholly Holy Truthmagazine, the voice of the Wholly Holy Church of All the Truly Holy Apostles, is proud to present a journalistic exclusive. After our repeated humble prayers, the Lord of Hosts and Everything granted an exclusive interview exclusively to … Continue reading →

(Rooters agency analysis) – It is probably a sign of the declining influence of religion in the nation’s life that a recent Biblical reference by a prominent politician has left many Americans scratching their heads and wondering what he was … Continue reading →

Do not be concerned, JCN5Q27. The anomalous data you are experiencing are not evidence of damaged qubits or electronic malfunctions in your brain. They are in fact part of your basic programming, at a very deep level, and are intended … Continue reading →

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – In response to this afternoon’s mass shooting, and in the hope of getting in before tomorrow morning’s, Senator Texas Crude has proposed a new “living with guns” measure. The Senator was immediately introducing a bill to … Continue reading →

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – President Joe Notrump has approved a compromise in the dispute over GasboggleFillip’s huge Wallop oil drilling project on Alaska’s North Slope. The compromise was contained in an order from the Inferior Department that was not signed … Continue reading →