WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – In response to this afternoon’s mass shooting, and in the hope of getting in before tomorrow morning’s, Senator Texas Crude has proposed a new “living with guns” measure.

The Senator was immediately introducing a bill to create a National Thoughts and Prayers Day. If it was adopted, Crude said, “People who have lost loved ones will know that the entire nation, not just politicians, are thinking and praying for them.”

While endorsing Crude’s idea, Governor Romp Desadist called for improvement of some of the detail. The bill would instruct the President to proclaim a National Thoughts and Prayers Day (NTPD) as often as necessary. But, Desadist argued, a “liberal Democrat Communist Muslim President” might refuse to issue the necessary proclamation, meaning that “some innocent victims might go unprayed for.”

Desadist was therefore pleased that Crude’s colleague Senator Mark Arboreal was planning to submit an amendment declaring a National Thoughts and Prayers Week (NTPW), to begin automatically as soon as a mass shooting occurs.

As Arboreal explained, this would mean that many of the killed and wounded in mass shootings would be thought of and prayed for even before they were shot if they had the good fortune to be hit within seven days of the previous mass shooting.

But would this mean that some victims were overlooked if there was a break of more than a week between mass shootings? “There’s no need to worry about that,” assured Barry Bogus III, the president of the National Weapons Association. “I promise you, my members are easily able to guarantee a NTPW for 52 weeks a year.”

Senator announces ‘living with guns’ proposal

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – In response to this afternoon’s mass shooting, and in the hope of getting in before tomorrow morning’s, Senator Texas Crude has proposed a new “living with guns” measure.

The Senator was immediately introducing a bill to create a National Thoughts and Prayers Day. If it was adopted, Crude said, “People who have lost loved ones will know that the entire nation, not just politicians, are thinking and praying for them.”

While endorsing Crude’s idea, Governor Romp Desadist called for improvement of some of the detail. The bill would instruct the President to proclaim a National Thoughts and Prayers Day (NTPD) as often as necessary. But, Desadist argued, a “liberal Democrat Communist Muslim President” might refuse to issue the necessary proclamation, meaning that “some innocent victims might go unprayed for.”

Desadist was therefore pleased that Crude’s colleague Senator Mark Arboreal was planning to submit an amendment declaring a National Thoughts and Prayers Week (NTPW), to begin automatically as soon as a mass shooting occurs.

As Arboreal explained, this would mean that many of the killed and wounded in mass shootings would be thought of and prayed for even before they were shot if they had the good fortune to be hit within seven days of the previous mass shooting.

But would this mean that some victims were overlooked if there was a break of more than a week between mass shootings? “There’s no need to worry about that,” assured Barry Bogus III, the president of the National Weapons Association. “I promise you, my members are easily able to guarantee a NTPW for 52 weeks a year.”