Texan independence raises questions

AUSTIN (Rooters agency) – The House of Representatives of Texas today formally declared the independence of the the Republic of Texas. The unanimous vote was considered a foregone result after the house voted last week to expel all of its non-Repulsican members.

That expulsion measure was explained by the majority party in the introduction to the motion with the words “Nah, nah, nah, we can do it back to you.” Off the record, Repulsicans explained that the action was retaliation for the vote by Demonstratives in the federal House of Representatives to ban Georgian Repulsican Congresswoman Modesty Trumpgang Grene from bringing a Gatling gun into the House chamber unless she first removed all the cartridges (the Repulsicans had rejected a compromise proposed by the Demonstratives to ban “most” of the cartridges).

It is not clear what effect Texan independence will have on either Texan or US politics. The state’s two senators, Texas Crude and John Cornpone, both Repulsicans, have indicated that their “undying support” for Texan independence will not prevent them from voting in the US Senate for “as long as we can get away with it.”

If Texas really becomes a separate country, presumably its current senators would no longer be seated in Washington and the Demonstratives would then have a 50-48 margin in the Senate, which would mean there was no longer such a pressing need for senators to remain awake when votes are being recorded. But the Repulsicans’ ability to block legislation would not be seriously affected, because the Demonstratives would still need 59 votes to pass much of anything. This is due to the filibuster, a rule of the Senate that says, “Democracy requires old white male minorities to have a veto on everything.”

The response to the Texan declaration by the Mexican government has so far been cautious. However, when questioned by Rooters, the Mexican government’s press department pointed out that President Antonio López de Santa Anna had signed the Treaties of Velasco in 1836 under duress. But, in the spirit of cooperation with recent US government positions, Mexico would be agreeable to helping to fund a border wall if it was located along the Arkansas River.

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