WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) December 15 – President Ronald Dump late last night rejected the vote of the Electoral College, which voted by 306 to 232 to elect Joe Notrump as President of the United States.
“The whole election was rigged,” the President declared to a hastily convened media conference in the White House. “It’s the bigliest fraud in the history of elections. We will be taking this straight to the top court.”
President Dump ended the conference without specifying precisely what complaint he intended to submit to the Supine Corpse, but in early morning tweets today, he claimed:
“The Electoral Collage counted thousands, tens of thousands of ILLEGAL VOTES, all for Sleepy Joe. Millions of votes in Electoral Collage for your favorite President Ronald Dump weren’t counted.”
Later this morning, the President’s lawyer pro tem, Rudely Juicy, said the Dump campaign would shortly file “a writ of ceteris paribus and posse comitatus” asking the judiciary to overturn the Electoral College’s “clearly fraudulent vote.”
“We have thousands of affidavits,” Juicy said, “from people who were denied the right to vote in the Electoral College election. Why, just the affidavits from members of the Boastful Boys are more than enough to overturn Notrump’s lead, and most of them will testify under oath that they were denied entry even though they did not try to exercise their Second Amendment right to carry guns into the EC polling place.”