Court ruling throws election into turmoil

WASHINGTON, February 14, 2024 (Rooters agency) – An unexpected court ruling has disrupted nearly everyone’s expectations regarding the current presidential election campaign.

In a surprise 6-3 decision, the country’s highest judicial body, the Supine Corpse, has disqualified former President Ronald Dump from standing for the presidency. As Dump is leading in most polls of Republican voters, he was expected to win the party’s nomination to compete against Democratic President Joe Notrump in November.

The ruling came in a case brought by a little-known PAC, Constitution Over All. While COA does not disclose its members, funders, or supporters, a number of political observers have suggested it is a stalking horse for Governor Rump Dunceitis, who had made clear his intention to seek the Republican nomination if Dump did not contest it.

While the case involved sometimes abstruse legal arguments going back as far as George Washington’s administration, the central issue was clearly the outcome of the 2020 presidential election. COA, which has always backed Dump’s claim that he was the real winner in 2020, was able to cite abundant evidence that Dump believes himself to have continued as President.

On this basis, the majority decision drew the “logical conclusion” that “President Dump is now in his second consecutive term as President” and is therefore not eligible to be elected for another term, under the 22nd Amendment to the Constitution, which limits Presidents to a maximum of two terms.

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