WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – Secretary of State Dick Pompous today spoke proudly of “the incredibly smooth transition” to President Dump’s second term, which begins next week.
“We thought the Democrats might make a fuss,” Pompous said, “but after the Supine Corpse rulings overturning their election frauds, everything has gone quite well.”
The Secretary of State went on to praise Attorney General Willie Wagtail for his “brilliant arguments” before the Supine Corpse, which led to the ruling that further frauds against the will of the American people could be prevented only by ruling that Ronald Dump was now President for Life.
“Since that ruling, the Attorney General has also ensured public calm and stability by jailing and sometimes prosecuting any and all antifa terrorists who have tried to disrupt it. America can now look forward to a prolonged period of economic prosperity and good health.” (The last remark was apparently a reference to the former Covid-19 pandemic, new cases having rapidly declined to zero after President Dump banned testing for it.
* Dear Rooters subscriber: If you have received this report, please ignore it. It is obviously nonsense and was not intended for general circulation. Rather, at the request of President-elect Joe Notrump, Rooters prepared it to send to the White House in the hopes that it might pacify outgoing President Ronald Dump and thus dissuade him from causing too much damage during his last days in office.