Surprising support for return of ex-President

(Rooters analysis) – One of the least expected and least publicized developments in the current Presidential election campaign is support former President Ronald Dump from an unusual quarter.

Peace activists, especially those concerned with the dangers of potential nuclear war, are usually considered to be on the left side of politics. But today, a still minority but growing segment of this demographic is arguing that the return of Dump to the White House is the preferable option in November.

The argument has two parts, both related to the ex-President’s allegedly declining mental powers. The first part says that Dump’s understanding of world geopolitics makes it hugely unlikely that he would launch a nuclear attack on any other nuclear-armed country—with the possible exception of France, whose weapons are probably not set up for a retaliation against the United States.

Secondly, these activists say, even if a President Dump were to decide to launch a nuclear attack on China or Russia, there is zero possibility that a man who thinks Hannibal Lecter is going to defend him from sharks would be able to remember the numeric and/or alphabetic code necessary to launch America’s nuclear weapons.

However, Rooters directed a question on this subject to the Dump campaign, and received a direct response from the ex-President himself: “It’s all fake news. Give me that nuclear basketball and I’ll show you I can input the code right now.”

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