WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – Buoyed by its success in putting an end to the long-running wars between Israel and the United Arab Emirates and Israel and Bahrain, the Administration of President Ronald Dump is launching further peace offensives.
“Peace in that big place over there is important too,” the President is reported to have told his Cabinet, apparently referring to Asia. He then appointed Presidential Son-in-Law Jaded Kumquat as his Special Envoy to negotiate peace between Mongolia and Nepal. The negotiations will be conducted via Zoom, the President decreed, “so that China can’t listen in on Highway.”
Perhaps fearing that his diplomatic skills were being bypassed, Secretary of State Dick Pompous appears to have then persuaded President Dump to allow him to bring peace to Africa by negotiating a treaty between Niger and Tanzania. Their would be no limit on the Secretary’s authority, the President agreed, “as long as I get the credit.”
White House insiders say that President Dump is also looking into the possibility of a European peace treaty between Finland and Macedonia. Closer to home, the President has also let it be known that he hopes to mediate a non-aggression pact between Canada and Mexico.
“All this is not for me, it’s Alteristic,” the President tweeted. And the Nobel people should deliver the PRIZE at least a Week Before November 3.”