Britain: Anarchy defeated

LONDON (Rooters agency) – As is well known by everyone, so we’re not sure why we still report it, the Barely United Kingdom descended into anarchy last week when the House of Commons voted no confidence in the government of Bro Jejune (a vote endorsed by his mother, who said, “I never could believe anything he said”) but then failed in every effort to elect a new government.

So the BUK no longer had a government: the very definition of anarchy.

The actual experience of anarchy, according to many people in the BUK interviewed by Rooters, was not nearly as terrible as they had been led to believe.

“It’s true the buses aren’t running on time,” said Gladys Dustbin, 35, of Liverpool. “But they didn’t run on time either when we had a government. And they’re more frequent now, and now I usually don’t have to pay.”

Quentin Churchright, 47, of Norwich, said he had expected that a lack of government would mean that “my children would be forced to worship a false god, or to commit other grievous sins. But I don’t have any children, so it’s hard to tell.”

Mary Contrary, 58, of West Upper Downgrade, judged:“Things aren’t too bad, but the price of bread is too high, and I would happily strangle the prime minister over it, if we still had a prime minister.”

Robin Sherwood, ageless, of Nottingham, had been involved for many years in a dispute over a small forest which he charged had been illegally clear felled by the Jonprince Corporation. Three days after the end of government, he said, the corporation announced it was withdrawing its defense in BUK courts (which had been abolished in any case) and “would pursue our interests with the assistance of US government sanctions and/or the Marines.”

This morning, as you have undoubtedly heard over the loudspeakers, anarchy has ended and the BUK Salvation Temporary Government has been installed. An election for a new Permanent Government will be held at an appropriate time. Until then, shut up.

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