Monthly Archives: June 2017

Cabinet decides on renaming months

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – Rooters has obtained a transcript of the most recent meeting of the President’s Cabinet. This account is based on that transcript. “Brilliant! A stroke of genius! We’re honored to hear of it! Perfect timing! Deal making … Continue reading

Posted in Julius Caesar, Shakespeare | Leave a comment

President acts to block terror tourists

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – President Ronald Dump today announced “very very necessary” measures to counter “the threat of radical Christian terrorism.” The President was acting in response to a terrorist attack in the Barely United Kingdom in which a Christian … Continue reading

Posted in Anders Breivik, terrorism, travel ban | Leave a comment

Cuba announces sanctions to defend human rights in US

HAVANA (Rooters agency) – The Cuban government has announced the imposition of sanctions intended to persuade the US government to relax its attacks on human rights, less than two years after relations were relaxed in an agreement with the previous … Continue reading

Posted in Cuba, sanctions | Leave a comment

President’s Qatar move hailed

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – “Brilliant! A stroke of genius! We’re honored to hear of it! Deal making beyond compare! Moral guidance equal to the Bible!” The reaction to President Ronald Dump’s latest move in regard to the Qatar crisis was … Continue reading

Posted in Qatar, Saudi Arabia | Leave a comment

Extreme vetting catches three suspected terrorists

ROME (Ordinatio Fabula), December 26, 753 Years Since the Founding – A curious tale has emerged out of Judea province on the eastern coast of Our Sea. In a small town not far from Jerusalem, Imperial Immigration and Customs Enforcement … Continue reading

Posted in Augustus, extreme vetting, Herod, immigration, Rome, terrorism, three kings | Leave a comment

President pulls US out of United Nations

WASHINGTON (Rooters agency) – As had been frequently foreshadowed, President Ronald Dump today announced that the United States was withdrawing from the United Nations. “It’s a bad deal for America. Huge bad deal for America. And New York. I am … Continue reading

Posted in United Nations, United States | Leave a comment